One of the greatest parenting milestones is the day you get to explain to your children the basics of sex. Sometimes that day arrives because a kid bluntly asks how babies are made, sometimes parents bring it up so their kids to hear it from them before they hear it from other people, and sometimes it's a result of an unexpected encounter like a kid walking in on their parents doing the deed. However you arrive at it, that initial conversation is always interesting. No matter how prepared you think you are, some awkward hilarity is inevitable as you navigate those new waters.
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By the time I turned 18, I still never got the "sex talk" from my parents. I entered the world equipped with only the knowledge mass media, pop culture, and my high school freshman sex-ed class could give me. At the time I thought I dodged an awkward bullet, but a few years later, I realized I missed out on a lot of helpful information. And it's become the norm for a lot of teens to only know how TV shows or movies depict relationships or sex and never have anyone actually knowledgeable and relatable to talk to about our real experiences. During my first week of college, I witnessed a ton of uncomfortable situations through my frightened year-old eyes. Most of us freshmen were trying to fit in with our year-old peers, but we had no idea what we were doing when it came to navigating relationships, sexual or otherwise. Most of those twenty-somethings didn't even know much more than we did.
This Is How I Wish My Parents Talked to Me About Sex
There are those early babbling words, those first clumsy steps, a first lost tooth. Later, there will be school dances, academic or athletic achievements and eventually maybe a college acceptance letter or something with equal gravity. These moments make us proud and eager to brag about our children.
Thankfully, I have never experienced such thing, but some poor souls out there have had the terrible misfortune of witnessing their parents going at it. About 10 minutes into the game, I heard my mom and stepdad come in the room and they started going at it. I was too embarrassed to come out, so I sat there and listened to every gruesome noise. And 10 years later, I found a DVD of my mom going down on my stepdad.